i hate my life

and the only reason is my fucking job.

my boss (a psychiatrist) the the biggest piece of greedy shit walking the planet, and she doesnt care about ANYONE else (not even her 3 year old daughter, who most likely is going to be taken away from her tomorrow. *fingers crossed* she belongs with her dad) except herself. no wonder she's been divorced TWICE. the only thing she cares about is how much money she brings in. but what good is all the money? it clearly cant buy her love, or happiness. she doesnt even do shit for her daughter. she just makes me sick. she is such a fucking bitch. but i kinda think she is that way because she knows she is disgusting, annoying, and flat out psycho. i mean, its obvious no one wants anything to do with her, not even her mother. she really doesnt have anything of value or substance in her life, except for her fat bank account.

i hate her. and want horrible things to happen to her.

im illy...

if you know me, you most definitely know im super, crazy, scary in love with T.I.

i was reading some magazine, or was it a blog? i dont remember, but whatever it was there was a little review of Paper Trail, which everyone should know by now is his latest album. blah blah blah it was a good review, but it ended saying "this is one of the best hip hop albums of the year."


that album is the shit! i would have to argue that this is one of the best albums released ALL year. for sure.

i just had to get that out there.

hope all is well.
  • Current Mood
    happy happy

I need a cigarette.

Big update. Brace yourself.

Mark Ronson Extravaganza

Oct 2, 2007- Kimmel
Mark Ronson is not all that. With that said, let me give you the play by play of the whole day.

We (Marthalopez and I) woke up obnoxiously early and headed to El Capitan. I dont want to say what time we actually got there because I want to seem less crazy. But all you need to know is the parking attendants werent even there yet. We waited around a little to see if anyone would show up so we can pay, but no one ever did so we went to Mels. After we stuffed our bellys we proceeded to wait, and wait, and wait some more. We honestly thought more people would show up to wait in line.

At about 10:30 or so we made our first trip to the liquor store. I absolutely love days where I dont have to do a single thing, so I can wake up early and drink all day long. Anyway, after we started drinking time went by a lot faster. Jimmy Kimmel arrived around 1 or so. He parked right in front of us. He is the worst parker in parking history. I wish I had the pictures from my camera uploaded so you guys could see. He knocked over a cone, and hit the curb thingy I think 3 times. He kept looking at us like we were crazy. I was like "Dont act like you've never seen people waiting out here all day." I should have taken a picture with him through the fence. I love him.

Fast forward time... we finally say "fuck it" and went to sit in line. Soon after sound check began. I watched from the end of the driveway as I mingled with the security. I loved those guys. Samantha Ronson walked right by me, I love her, more than Mark now. I should have went into superfan mode and got a pic. Oh well, I was drunk and was oblivious to eveything around me. I didnt even know Miss Ronson was near me until Martha came over and pointed it out. When we were finally about to be let in, they started searching us and whatnot. All I had on me was a pack of cigarettes with only one left in it and a lighter. Why did they open the pack, bust out a flashlight, and search that clearly empty box for so long? It was ridiculous.

He finally goes on. It was great! He played a lot of songs, and did wonderful. It ended, I was happy. THEN we decided to wait on the side so we can do the whole fan thing and take pictures. Maybe that was a bad decision. He came out and kind of just changed my whole perspective of him. He didnt seem too friendly. Sad to say. But we got our damn pics.

We left. Ate In n Out. I eat In n Out often, but for some reason it tasted so good that night. Probably since we hadnt eaten since breakfast. Liquid diet.

October 3- El Rey Theatre

Slept in. Got ready. My feet got fucked up from my shoes the day before, so I was looking to buy some new, pain-free shoes. No luck. I ended up just buying band-aids at Longs to cover all of my wounds. Didnt really help much.

Being as we are not from LA, around 3 or so we decided we would go find the El Rey, just to make sure we knew where the fuck we were going. We were hoping there was a bar around it so we can just drink up until we went in. Sure enough, NO BARS. ANYWHERE! We ended up just making a couple of trips to the Rite Aid down the street to buy us a buzz.

When we were waiting in line for the actual show, I lit up a cigarette and the security guy came up to me and said "There is no smoking in the line. Youll have to move." Seriously? I obeyed the rules and moved. Then my feet are hurting from my evil shoes (and I had a decent buzz going), so I sat down. Then the same dumb security guy comes up to me and says "There is no sitting in line." Are you fucking kidding me?

Doors open. I go straight for the bar. Kenna was terrific. I could watch him prance around on stage all day every day.

Time for the main event. Im ashamed to say this but...I drank too much. 4 long islands plus whatever I consumed before we even got in. I dont remember much of the show at all. It saddens me. I remember spilling one of my almost empty cups on the mom that was next to me. I remember seeing Joel Madden in the smoking section (he is really short). I remember Mark and Phantom Planet playing "California" and feeling awkward about it. And I kind of remember Martha guiding me to the car as we were leaving. I passed out right when I sat down. Dont even remember pulling away from our parking spot. I woke up at 2am in Fresno where we met Dani at Dennys to eat with her. Managed to stay awake the rest of the drive home. Got home at 5:13am or something around there. I was still fucking drunk when I got home. I think I walked into my bedroom door 3 times before I realized it was closed. I woke up the next morning (afternoon) and turned on my camera to look at the pics that Marf and I took the day of Kimmel, only to find out that I took pics at the El Rey show!! I had no idea. It was a nice surprise. I actually have a video that I didnt mean to record. Its probably 3 seconds long. Its Mark strumming his guitar then my camera goes down and focuses in on one of my drinks. Then its over.

All in all it was a lot of fun. I got to get out of town and off of work for 3 days, that always rules. Mark Ronson is amazing and I cant wait to see him again, but I doubt the fucker will play San Francisco any time soon.
  • Current Mood
    good good

i love cathy!

"i was riding my bike to campus about 15 minutes ago and this sandwich shop on the way was BLASTING T.I. and i hell of thought of you rocking out eating a plain ass sandwich."

she knows me!


i accidentally clicked "post to journal." then the box that says "restore from saved drafts" popped up. and i was like, "i have a saved draft, i cant remember the last time i came to write anything in here." so i selected "yes" and this is all that was in there:

"both of my arms are fucked up."

and no, i have no idea when this is from.
  • Current Music
    the killers

i could obscure these words with poetry, false maturity.

hmm...i dont really know where to begin from. i guess ill pick up where i left off:

brand new @ the warfield was great. it was a lot of fun, they ruled. we got back at like 1ish? then me and cathy decided we wanted to go super early to wait in line at bottom of the hill for the free show the next day. so we left around 3am. got there and joined adam where he was sleeping on the sidewalk. didnt get any sleep, just layed/sat around all night. dani tawny and martha got there at like 7 and we (mostly me and cathy) started drinking at 9. me and cathy were really drunk all day long. i spilled a full drink all over my legs and crotch. thank god i had plenty of time to sit and dry. i love jesse. the show itself ruled because hello...front row at bottom of the hill for brand fucking new.

new subject.

im a working woman. i am bringing home the bacon. but its really killing my social life. oh well, im going to love it when i have money to spend on hell of shit.

i cant hang out all weekend because im going to the YANKEE games fri, sat, and sun. sorry friends, the yankees are more important.

BUT... i am actually going out on tuesday night. you know why?


leaving for brand new in about 45 minutes.

i just got done washing my face and i think i got my moisturizer too close to my eyes because both of them are burning like hell.

adam really came up for the show tonight. that rules. he is in line as we speak.

im excited.